How to Tell If Your Child Has Low Self Esteem and What You Can Do About It

A child with high self esteem will be able to act without help, assume responsibility, take pride in his accomplishments, abide frustration, attempt new tasks, endeavors and challenges, handle their positive as well as negative emotions, and will offer to help others who are less capable.
Conversely, a child experiencing low self-esteem will attempt to avoid trying new activities, feels unloved and unwanted, puts the blame others for his own shortcomings, feels or pretends to feel emotionally indifferent, is unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, puts himself down, and is easily influenced by others.
The self-esteem of peer-oriented children will, more often than not, be dependent on the way others perceive them. A positive self-esteem means that children and teens consider themselves to be valuable even when they are being judged poorly by others.
How to Build Your Child's Self Esteem
Tell your child that he is important to you, that you love him. Communicate your feelings to your child so he doesn't have to guess. Listen non-judgmentally Do special things for your child.
A child doesn't know when you are feeling good about him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. In fact, they store them up and "replay" your comments to themselves. Practice giving your child encouraging words throughout each day. Try using what is commonly referred to as "descriptive praise" to let your child know when they are doing something correctly or doing it well.
You must of course become in the habit of looking for situations where your child is excelling, doing a good job or perhaps displaying a talent. For instance, "You are a very kind boy (or girl) " Or, "I really like the way you see things through even when it seems difficult to do." You can even praise a child for something he did not do such as "I really appreciated how you accepted my answer of 'no' and did not get angry or lose your temper ".
Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is a cause of depression and anxiety. Therefore, it is important to teach your children to be positive about what they say in their heads to themselves.
Some examples of useful self-talk are: "I can get this problem, if I just keep trying", "It's OK if our team lost today. We all tried our best and you can't win them all", "It makes me feel good to help others even if the person doesn't notice or thank me".
This is good practice for your child. He can eventually become an expert at this and it will serve as protective amour during their turbulent teenage years.

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Preparing Your Child for First Holy Communion

Receiving Holy Communion for the very first time is a huge step for most Catholics. Since baptism for most Catholics is done when the child is too young to remember, the First Holy Communion is one of the big steps that most Christians make in their religious life. It is important as a parent to ensure that your children are prepared for this amazing and wonderful experience that they will continue to enjoy for the rest of their lives.
Ways of Preparing of your child to receive their First Holy Communion
1. Make sure they have received both the sacrament of Baptism and the sacrament of Penance
These are the basic requirements for any child to receive their First Holy Communion in the Catholic Church. In most catholic homes the children are baptized before they are even a year old so this is usually not a problem. If they are baptized, you should make sure that you have their baptismal certificate from the church that they were baptized in.
The sacrament of Penance which is usually in the form of confession is usually given to the child a week or two before they receive communion. Most catechism classes arrange for this as soon as the children pass their catechism exams but if they don't u should make sure that you contact your priest to arrange for confession for your child.
2. Enroll your child in catechism classes
Enrolling your child is a catechism class is the first step in preparing your child for their First Holy Communion. Catechism classes instruct the child on the basics of Catholicism and Christianity which is quite important before they start to receive communion.
3. Take your child to mass frequently
Although they may learn a lot about what goes on in the church during their catechism classes, it is important that they go to mass and get to experience it for themselves. This will also help your child learn how to respond during mass as well as master the common prayers.
4. Have a talk with your child about the importance of receiving the First Holy Communion
Children usually have a lot of questions about the sacrament and you should take time to answer any questions that they may have as well as ensure that they understand the importance of the sacrament. Communion is not to be taken lightly and as a parent you should be able to gauge whether your child understands the significance of receiving communion before they receive the sacrament.
5. Show them how to receive communion
This is one thing that most catechism classes forget to teach the children because they assume it is common knowledge, however sometimes even the basic things need to be said. Take a few minutes to show your child how to receive the sacrament to avoid any mistakes.
If your child has passed their catechism exams and the date for her First Communion is set then the next step is to make sure that they have the right attire for the occasion. For girls, a white dress is usually appropriate while for boys the norm is to have them in formal pants and a shirt preferably with a tie.
Receiving First Holy Communion for the first time is a big event in your child's life, so inviting close family and friends to celebrate the occasion is a wonderful way of celebrating the event with your child.

Samantha Gold is a writer with Gifts of Love and Devotion - Unique Christian Gifts which features a large selection of Unique and Personalized Christian Gifts for every occasion including baptism, first communion, confirmation, weddings, and anniversary gifts. In addition, they offer heirloom quality baptism and christening gowns and rompers, as well as communion dresses and accessories. Gifts of Love and Devotion also has a selection of memorials which can be given in remembrance for the loss of a loved one. Personalized gifts such as baptismal candles and wedding crosses are available in most of our categories and provide a more unique gift idea. Her inspirational decor for the home and garden sections include a wide variety of products to dress up the home while making a personal statement of faith.

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Attachment Parenting Origins! Revealed! The Origins of Attachment Parenting Part 1

Attachment Parenting is a very Broad term. For simplicity's sake, I will begin with the FACTS and bare bones as to how Attachment Parenting started.
The original concept of Attachment Parenting was formally introduced in 1958 by John Bowlby in a publication of two papers "the Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother", in which the concepts of "attachment" were introduced. This was the Attachment Theory and not yet coined Attachment Parenting.
For details of Bowlbys Attachment Theory visit: Wikipedia.com Attachment theory
More information on the works of John Bowlby himself: Wikipedia.com and search "John Bowlby" (sorry not allowed many links).
John Bowlby devoted extensive research to the concept of attachment, describing it as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings". Bowlby discussed that early experiences in childhood have an important influence on development and behavior later in life. Early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship.
Bowlby believed that there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachment:
1. Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the people we are attached to.
2. Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.
3. Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.
4. Separation Distress - Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.
Alongside Bowlby was Mary Ainsworth who did her own Attachment Theory work and greatly contributed to Bowlby's work.
Around the same time Harry Harlow did research and scientific study on infant rhesus monkeys. Below is an excerpt that explains his work far better than I can:
The Science of Love
How did Harlow go about constructing his science of love? He separated infant monkeys from their mothers a few hours after birth, then arranged for the young animals to be "raised" by two kinds of surrogate monkey mother machines, both equipped to dispense milk. One mother was made out of bare wire mesh. The other was a wire mother covered with soft terry cloth. Harlow's first observation was that monkeys who had a choice of mothers spent far more time clinging to the terry cloth surrogates, even when their physical nourishment came from bottles mounted on the bare wire mothers. This suggested that infant love was no simple response to the satisfaction of physiological needs. Attachment was not primarily about hunger or thirst. It could not be reduced to nursing.
Then Harlow modified his experiment and made a second important observation. When he separated the infants into two groups and gave them no choice between the two types of mothers, all the monkeys drank equal amounts and grew physically at the same rate. But the similarities ended there. Monkeys who had soft, tactile contact with their terry cloth mothers behaved quite differently than monkeys whose mothers were made out of cold, hard wire. Harlow hypothesized that members of the first group benefited from a psychological resource-emotional attachment-unavailable to members of the second. By providing reassurance and security to infants, cuddling kept normal development on track.
What exactly did Harlow see that convinced him emotional attachment made a decisive developmental difference? When the experimental subjects were frightened by strange, loud objects, such as teddy bears beating drums, monkeys raised by terry cloth surrogates made bodily contact with their mothers, rubbed against them, and eventually calmed down. Harlow theorized that they used their mothers as a "psychological base of operations," allowing them to remain playful and inquisitive after the initial fright had subsided. In contrast, monkeys raised by wire mesh surrogates did not retreat to their mothers when scared. Instead, they threw themselves on the floor, clutched themselves, rocked back and forth, and screamed in terror. These activities closely resembled the behaviors of autistic and deprived children frequently observed in institutions as well as the pathological behavior of adults confined to mental institutions, Harlow noted. The awesome power of attachment and loss over mental health and illness could hardly have been performed more dramatically.
Though Harry didn't coin any terms, he contributed significantly to the Attachment Theorem.
This is Part 1 of The Origins of Attachment Parenting REVEALED!
Stay tuned for Part Two and discover who really started Attachment Parenting...
Warmly,
Ashley Ryan

Ashley Ryan - Ashley is an author, parent leader and parenting coach specializing in positive and attachment style parenting.
To Learn:
• The Step by Step Formula for Eliminating your Child's Behavioral Problems Permanently
• The Most Powerful Secret You Need to Know to Raise a Healthy Child (Learn this and you will never need to use punishment again)
• One Highly Destructive Approach to Discipline that Almost Every Parent uses (And how you can avoid it)
• And, The Virtually Unknown way to get Your Child to Cooperate (Without having to ask)
Visit: http://www.happychildguide.com or email Ashley at: Ashley@happychildguide.com
You Can Also Claim Your FREE Report: "One Amazingly Powerful Technique that Reduces Whining by 80% (And it also eliminates other annoying behaviors in the process)"

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Good Parenting Skills Can Be Learned

We all want to be good parents and learn good parenting skills. Parenting is a full time job, and sometimes it may seem like MORE than a full time job, but when it gets down to it, we have to acknowledge that as parents, we are going to make mistakes. But one of the keys to good parenting is to recognize those mistakes, accept the mistakes, and learn from the mistakes for the next time.
There are four A's that point to traits of good parenting.
Availability
Be available for your child. Yes, these are hectic and busy times, but you should never be too busy for your child, especially when they need you. Do not only be available when they say they need you, because chances are high that they will not come right and say that. Offer yourself to them and let them know that you are available to them. Let them know that they are important to you, as they should be. Dedicate a reasonable amount of your time each day to spending it with them. Do not just give them the "leftovers" when you are dog tired from a day at work, but give them quality time. That might even be just watching their favorite TV program with them or reading them a book or going for a short walk with them. It does not necessarily mean to spend money on them, because one of the best things you can give them will not cost you a cent - your love for them, where you show it and they can feel it and know it.
Appreciation
The most powerful drive towards good behavior in children is in being appreciated. When a child does well at something, express your appreciation for them. When they do something nice for you, show your appreciation for that. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and children are especially sensitive to this. Appreciation also helps them make that maturing determination of what is right and what is wrong, based on how appreciated they feel. The more you appreciate their good deeds, the more their behavior will be in line with what you want and expect.
Affection
All of us wants to be loved, especially children. They are constantly searching for ways in which they can be loved by you. You are their focal point and they want to please you by their very nature. You need to be aware that love is the basis and foundation of a lasting relationship.
Acceptance
Everyone wants to be accepted and children are no different. You should go out of your way to show they unconditional acceptance. This provides them with a level of self-worth and helps to keep their self-esteem level high. It also gives them a sense of security in the act of acceptance. If you as their parent cannot accept them, then nobody else will either, and they realize this.
Good parenting is a skill that is learned over time, and with mistakes. Learn from the mistakes and set guidelines to be the best parent you can be.

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Parenting Workshops Help Parents Help Themselves

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs and many parents need help in managing their family life. Parenting workshops offer parents the opportunity to learn new strategies and concepts about parenting that they can use in their everyday family life.
Parenting workshops, like any other workshop, include different sessions on different topics such building strong relationships between children and parent, between siblings or between children; early childhood parenting such as dealing with children's fears, helping parents adjust with separation, or starting school.
Many parenting workshops also help parents deal with children who have learning and/or emotional difficulties. These workshops are especially helpful because parenting children with special needs can be twice as hard so many need all the help they can get to manage their family life well.
Parents of adolescents and teenagers also experience a greater deal of frustration and stress because, as we know, children at this age bracket tend to distance themselves from parents, question authority, and are naturally curious and impulsive. Parenting workshops that help parenting teenagers educate parents to help them understand what their teens are going through and how to best approach or communicate with them.
Families who are going through a conflict such as separation or divorce can also get counseling through parenting workshops as well as education about children's right and family law. Moreover, parenting workshops not only increase parents' knowledge and skills on raising their children but at the same time develop confidence in them as parents and reduce everyday stress.
Aside from discussions and presentations on important parenting issues, parenting workshops feature videos and other media resources on a variety of parenting topics. Many parenting workshops are free but there are also groups that organize workshops for a fee and by request, customized to the needs of a specific group, for instance, single parents.
Generally, parenting workshops are conducted once a week for four to six weeks, depending on the organizer. If there is no one else to look after the child while the parent or parents attend the workshop, they can look for those that offer child-minding services.
Before attending parenting workshops, you can check the specific content of each session to make sure they will be useful to you and also check the qualifications of the people providing the workshop. The organization should be composed of qualified professionals who are well-trained in family and/or child development and, ideally, parents themselves.

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Parenting Styles and Presenting a United Front

So what exactly does a united front mean? We hear it often from parenting experts on TV, the Internet, and in magazines, but do parents really understand it in practice? Everyone has a different style of parenting, and a united front means to join your parenting together so that children can not play the divide and conquer game (which they are extremely good at). Research has indicated that there are four basic parenting styles ranging from only fulfilling a child's basic needs for food, shelter, and schooling to those that expect complete obedience with no explanation or conversation. Of course each family has a unique blend of these four basic parenting styles.
Experts agree that no matter which parenting style each parent has, finding a way to combine them that is consistent will produce the most capable and successful children. Parenting disagreements are one of the major causes of marital problems. So for the sake of your relationship with your spouse and to help make your children successful, happy adults you must learn to co-parent. Our parenting styles come mostly from our own upbringing, some of us repeat how our parents raised us, others tweak our parent's style a little. When co-parenting the idea is to combine both styles of parenting and reach a compromise.
Before deciding exactly how you will combine your parenting styles to raise your children it is important to understand the basic parenting styles and the effect each has on the children.
1. Authoritarian Parents - This parenting style is one where the rules are set and if broken children are punished. There is no explanation of why the rules exist. These parents have high demands and expect their orders to be obeyed. It is believed to be the main style of parenting in the 1950's which is said to have created the rebellious baby boomers of the 60's and 70's. Children do not make any of their own choices.
2. Authoritative Parents - These parents also set rules which they expect their children to follow, but the rules are explained. Parents are more forgiving rather than punishing and children are allowed to make their own choices. Parents are also open to discussion with their children. These parents often take advantage of teaching moments and open, honest communication with their children.
3. Permissive Parents - These parents have very few, if any demands or expectations of their children. Children make their own choices and parents behave more like a friend than a parent. Children tend to become sexually active much earlier and are at a high risk of drug and alcohol addiction. Minor criminal records are also common among children raised by parents with this style of parenting.
4. Uninvolved Parents - These parents have very little involvement in their children's lives. Children are likely to run away often, have a tendency to be violent, and are unable to live productive, happy lives.
In 1992 psychologist and author E.E. Maccoby concluded that authoritative parenting styles tended to result in children who were happy, capable and successful. Combining parenting styles in a way which falls somewhere in the authoritative parenting zone makes for the most well adjusted, happy, and successful children.
It is virtually impossible to always be united and agree one hundred percent when it comes to parenting. Keeping rules and consequences basically the same is what you should aim for in co-parenting. Parents must sit down together and decide what rules there will be and the consequences for breaking those rules. Remember that this is not about winning. Establishing a parenting plan is about your relationship with each other and raising intelligent, well-adjusted children able to support themselves and live a happy life. Compromise is essential. For instance, one parent thinks the children should be in bed at 8pm. and the other believes the children will be fine going to bed at 10pm. Negotiating a bedtime around 9pm. is a quality compromise. If after staying up until 9pm. the children seem to be too tired throughout the day, talk about it again.
There are some things you will disagree about and to avoid problems with children recognizing this and taking advantage of it here are a few rules you should always follow.
· If you have a disagreement, discuss it in private. Children should not hear their parents arguing if it can be avoided.
· Remember that you are both interested in what is best for the child or children. This is not about winning; it is about being a team.
· Do not talk about the other parent in a negative way in front of the children. This only hurts children to hear one of their parents being talked about in this way.
· Do not try to be the "favorite" parent by deviating from your co-parenting plan.
Whether you are married to your child's other parent or not, these guidelines will help make for healthy, successful children.

Shonda Kellams is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about home and family, parenting, relationships, and online business. Shonda owns http://snapoint.org a collaborative blog featuring articles written to help people get better at life.

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Court Ordered Parenting Classes For Divorce - What to Expect

Parenting classes for divorce are not the same classes offered by hospitals and churches for newborns. While many of these classes deal with common issues and parenting styles, classes for divorce focus on your changing lifestyle and teach you ways to deal with changing family dynamics. They offer ways to allow both parents to remain in the child's life after divorce.
What Do They Teach?
In the past, parenting classes were designed to teach parents how to parent their children from birth to teenage years. That has changed. You can find classes for newborns, for special circumstances, for grandparents, and more. Many states now require divorcing parents to attend parenting classes for divorce.
In these classes parents are taught the effects divorce has on the children and offer ways to minimize the effects of divorce on children. Some classes go a step beyond that and teach ways to communicate with an ex-spouse so that the whole family can move forward instead of being stuck in a squabbling rut.
When parents can get past the fighting and agree on strategies for the good of the children, it doesn't matter if they do not like each other. They can work together to make sure the children reach adulthood with good self esteem and a well defined purpose in life. Parenting Classes for divorce ensure parents learn how to put aside their feelings for each other and focus on the kids.
You may find that what you learn in your class carries over to everyday relationships. By applying what you have learned in your future relationships, you will find that there are less disagreements and more cooperation. In personal relationships you will see a much happier relationship because you have learned to deal with issues much better. In professional relationships you will also see a big difference. Is there a promotion in your future simply because you learned better ways to deal with relationships?
What About Online Parenting Classes?
Online classes are unique because they can be taken in the privacy of your own home (or anywhere you have a computer and internet access). Many are available 24 hours a day - 7 days a week. You simply register and then can access lessons. Quizzes can be submitted online. Your certificate will arrive in your mailbox in a few days.
Court Acceptance For Online Parenting Classes
Many courts have no problem accepting online parenting class certificates. Other courts request a specific class and will accept no others. This varies so much that a court in one county may accept any parenting class certificate while a court 30 miles away in the next county of the same state may only accept an in-person class given by a specific agency.
So, how do you know whether you are allowed to take an online class? Ask! Simply ask if there is a specific class you must take or if an online certificate will be accepted.
Think Twice Before Resisting Parenting Classes
If you have been ordered to take parenting classes for divorce think twice before resisting. Your whole life may be changed for the better using what you learn in parenting classes.

Focus On Kids parenting classes offers online parenting classes with guaranteed certificates of completion. Not only do you learn new techniques to make your relationship with your children much more enjoyable, you will complete your court requirements in your own time and in the privacy of your own home. Available 24/7, you control your time. Register today. Complete your parenting class today!
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Parenting Books - How to Communicate Better With Your Kids

Raising children is one of the most rewarding and difficult things that you are likely to do in your life. And what makes it even harder is that they do not come with an instruction manual. For this reason many parents turn to parenting books to help them figure out how to raise well balanced, polite and communicative adults as well as how to get them to wake up and get ready for school in the mornings without a fight.
One of the key things to developing a good relationship with your children is communication. It is essential that you talk to them a lot throughout the day and discuss different situations that you both may be going through or situations that their friends might be going through. A good time of the day to do this could be dinner time, bed time, while driving to school and so on.
You should be clear about your behavior expectations of your children and model how to behave as well. If you expect them to be polite, but then you do not speak respectfully to them or to other people in every day situations where they see your interactions, then you are fighting a losing battle.
In order to help your child meet your expectations you should discuss them together and explain why you want them to behave in a certain way and what the consequences are for them if they do or don't behave in that way. If you know you are going into a situation that your child finds difficult, then you should discuss how to behave and deal with the situation beforehand.
Children need limits that are set for them and these can only be taught and reinforced through constant communication of what you expect from them and why. Communicating the reasons for appropriate behavior is important so that the rules do not seem arbitrary.
If there is not good communication and clear limits that are set and reinforced with your children, then you are going to have constant troubles and arguments with them. Reading different parenting books will give you strategies on how you can communicate your expectations effectively and follow routines at home that constantly revisit them.
You want to be able to enjoy sharing your children's childhood and the more communication skills that you learn through parenting books the more able you are to avoid conflicts and get into an easy flow with your kids most of the time.

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Understanding Hostile Aggressive Parenting Behavior Used to Sever the Parent-Child Relationship

When I first married, I didn't realize there was a 50 percent chance that my marriage would end in divorce. During our marriage, we had a child and again, I didn't realize that there was a one in six chance my divorce would turn out to be "high conflict," and that my child would be used by an angry and vindictive ex to avenge the failure of our marriage. Over the years since my divorce, the mother's behavior has only intensified. Eventually, I came to learn the meaning of terms such as Parental Alienation (PA), Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), and Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP), and experienced how easily the family court system can be manipulated by false allegations.
In 1985, Dr. Richard Garner, a forensic psychiatrist, introduced the concept of PAS in an article, "Recent Trends in Divorce and Custody Litigation," in which he defined PAS as "a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of programming (brainwashing) by the other parent and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent." Several years later, Ira Daniel Turkat introduced "Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome." Behaviors associated with both syndromes are relatively similar, encompassing hostile aggressive parenting behavior in an attempt to alienate the child from the other parent. However, the latter focuses on the mother's behavior whereas PAS can relate to both the mother and the father. Presently, PA or PAS are the common terms used to define the practice of attempting to alienate a child or children from a parent, regardless of gender.
The American Psychological Association's (APA) official statement on PAS notes "the lack of data to support so-called parental alienation syndrome and raises concern about the term's use." However, the APA states it has "no official position on the purported syndrome." Advocates against PAS believe it is a form of psychological child abuse, and the APA's refusal to address PAS leaves "targeted parents" lacking needed resources to fight the problem. At the same time, there are those who discount the validity of PAS and believe it is used as an excuse by abusive parents during custody challenges to explain "the animosity of their child or children toward them." In certain cases, that may very well be true.
In his article, "New Definition of Parental Alienation: What is the Difference Between Parental Alienation (PA) and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?" Dr. Douglas Darnall focuses on the behavior and defines "parental alienation (PA), rather than PAS, as any constellation of behaviors, whether conscious or unconscious, that could evoke a disturbance in the relationship between a child and the other parent." Simply put, PA is teaching the child to hate the other parent, leading to estrangement from the parent. By concentrating on the behavior, Dr. Darnall presents a more pragmatic approach to acceptance of PA by attorneys, therapist and family courts.
The tactics or tools that parents use to alienate a child range from simple badmouthing the other parent in front of the child; encouraging others to do likewise, until the child is bombarded with negative remarks on a daily basis; to reporting accusations of abuse or neglect to child protective services or family court. This behavior is known as Hostile Aggressive Parenting. One tactic that author John T. Steinbeck describes in Brainwashing Children is that some "hostile parents who remarry will have the child or children call the stepfather, 'daddy,' as a technique used to devalue the biological parent." Parental Alienation Syndrome is a condition. Hostile Aggressive Parenting is the behavior.
Hostile aggressive parents are unable to move on. They are stuck in the past and focused on avenging the failure of their marriage and the control they had during the marriage. They manipulate the family court and child protective services in an attempt to continue control over their ex-spouse. They accept no responsibility for their actions, blame everyone, and place themselves above the child's own interest. Therapist turned family law attorney Bill Eddy notes in his article "Personality Disorders and False Allegations in Family Court" that there is a "prevalence of personality disorders in high conflict divorce and custody cases in which false allegations are used." The most prevalent of these is Borderline Personality Disorder, followed by Narcissistic Personality, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder. This accounts for the lack of empathy toward the child's emotional state, and the ability to manipulate family court and child protective services so easily. Parents with anti-social personality disorders will play the "victim." They are experts at manipulating and lying because they actually believe their lies to justify what they are doing.
Not all children can be taught to hate. Some have a very strong bond with the parent. Steinbeck also notes that in certain cases the "alienating parent feels that the other parent has a strong, highly functional relationship with the child or children and is irrationally worried that this positive relationship will somehow affect their relationship with the child." A child old enough to decide with whom he or she wishes to live with may result in a reversal of financial obligations, as the non-custodial parent is obligated to pay child support and provide medical coverage for the child. HAP may simply be financially motivated. Regardless of the motives, attempting to alienate a child from a parent using hostile aggressive parenting or parental alienation tactics is psychological child abuse.
It is much easier to alienate a child when the child is separated from the parent. False allegations to family court of abuse or neglect will severely limit the relationship between the parent and child and the limited time spent will be under supervision. The Standard Divorce Decree has already reduced the non-custodial parent to a visitor in the child or children's lives by a visitation schedule of the first, third, and fifth weekends of the month. Now the parent is limited to a "supervised" visitation schedule of three or four hours per month. Supervised visitation programs are just as easily manipulated as family court, e.g., parents simply need to call in at the last minute to seek rescheduling.
Family court will always side with the allegations and the court moves very slowly. Depending on the skill of an attorney, this period of separation could last for months. This gives the "targeting parent" additional time to teach the child to hate the "targeted parent," as well as draining the "targeted parent's" financial resources.
An attorney once told me that "the only place people lie more than in family court is at a bar." Family court is plagued by false allegations simply because they are such an effective tool to quickly sever the parent-child relationship. Family court does not prosecute against false allegations, which is why false allegations have proliferated. Allegations do not need to be specific. Some attorneys advise clients to keep the allegations vague so as not to chance involving investigative agencies such as child protective services, as their reports carry so much weight with the court. An allegation to family court may be as vague as "The father is a danger to the child." This is enough for the family court to order visitations withheld or supervised, but not specific enough to involve child protective services.
Family court is a guilt-by-accusation system. Once accused, it is the responsibility of the accused to prove the allegations false. The accused parent will most likely be court-ordered to supervised visitations with the child or children, as well as complete a psychological evaluation and meet with mediators and parent coordinators, all at personal cost. He or she also may pay for a forensic investigation, also referred to as a Social Study Evaluation, to prove the allegations false. The accused parent will spend thousands, or perhaps tens of thousands, of dollars proving the accusations false - and in the end, find him/herself financially drained and psychologically exhausted. An accused parent may lose a relationship with the child or children simply because they ran out of money to continue to fight. Unfortunately, this also results in a child losing a loving parent. David Levy, cofounder of the Children's Rights Counsel and author of The Best Parent is Both Parents, stated: "President Obama talks a lot about absentee fathers who need to take responsibility. (But) he may not realize that there are millions of parents who want to be involved (in their children's lives)." Fighting for the "child's right to both parents" is a costly battle - both financially and psychologically. Many parents simply lose because they ran out of money.
The solution is to define "in the best interest of the child" as "the child's right to both parents," and then protect that right. Stop ignoring false allegations. Understandably, allegations need to be investigated; however, if proven false, the parent who made the false allegations should be prosecuted. Order that parent to complete a psychological evaluation. Step in to protect the child when you hear your friend or relative making negative remarks about the child's parent or any other hostile aggressive parenting behavior. Let the child know that both parents love him/her. Encourage those hostile parents to seek therapy to find closure and stop using the child to "get even." One thing is certain: when a parent is attempting to separate a child from a parent simply to avenge a failed marriage, the child suffers emotional pain. Because this pain was brought on purposely, it is psychological child abuse. If you participate or allow hostile aggressive parenting behavior in an attempt to alienate a child from a parent, you are an accomplice to psychological child abuse. Stand up and protect the child's right to both parents.

James Edwards
http://www.achildforgotten.org

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Making Military Parenting Plans Work For Active Duty Parents

Working out child custody is hard enough without adding the challenges of one or both parents serving in the armed forces. Custody complications can arise when circumstances related to your military career arise, such as a temporary transfer, mobilization or even deployment. Learn the ins and outs of preparing a military parenting plan to protect your parenting rights and provide for your children's needs.
Military Duty and Child Custody
Most states uphold custody laws that say if one parent is voluntarily absent from the children's lives and does not complete visitations, that parent's custody rights can be changed. When you are serving in the armed forces, technically fulfilling your job duties left you open to legal action concerning custody. For example, if you had custody of your children but then were deployed for an extended period of time, the other parent could possibly file for permanent custody.
There were several high-profile cases in the last decade where deployed parents returned home to find that they had been stripped of custody and that the family courts were reluctant to restore custody because of their absence. While these men and women were preserving the interests of their country, they were losing their children.
Because service member parents have a limited ability to travel in certain circumstances, plus the high cost of travel from some areas of the world where they may be stationed, it is difficult for every deployed parent to engage in custody hearings. It wasn't unusual for divorced military parents to lose custody of their children and spend lots of money trying to regain it.
Helpful Laws Protect Military Parents
The U.S. government, as well as several states, recognized the unfairness of these actions, especially when deployment or other mandatory service was being counted against parents in custody issues. Today, such parents are protected by laws that restrict legal actions at certain times against those serving in the armed forces, including custody hearings.
Service member parents are allowed to have expedited custody hearings that take place before they leave, if possible. They can also deliver testimony via phone or other electronic means. Family courts cannot take permanent custody action taken against them while they are away for certain types of service. The away parents should still retain decision-making abilities where reasonable, and can even designate visitation time with extended family members.
Now, military parents can generally receive the custody levels they enjoyed before deployment within 10 days of their return from duty. No hearings are necessary for this action. While the other parent can try to take action, the family court cannot hold your deployment against you in determining custody.
Delegating Time While Deployed
Deployed parents can designate some of their unused visitation time with a third party, usually grandparents or other close relatives. The current laws don't allow the other parent to restrict or overrule the away parent's wishes when it comes to delegating that time. As long as the third-party member is approved by the court, this delegation will be allowed for as long as the military parent is deployed.
The family courts recognized the service member's right to have a voice in who the children interact with, just as if he or she were home. Many deployed parents feel that this is a big improvement to staying in contact with their children. Often, the other parent may not make the effort to help the children communicate with the away parent. The service member's family can preserve those bonds by including the children in family activities, making contact with the military parent and providing emotional support while they are away.
Military Parenting Plans
It's important to create a parenting plan that takes service member parents into consideration, especially in the event of a deployment or transfer. You and the other parent can create a basic parenting plan for when you are nearby, then create a temporary parenting plan that is in effect while you are away.
Getting a temporary custody in place before you leave is typical of most divorced military parents. You will likely be able to receive expedited custody hearings in order to put your affairs together. If you and the other parent have a sample plan already made up, you can present it to the family court for approval. This temporary parenting plan will end once you return, according to the law.
Conclusion
Children deserve to have a loving, healthy relationship with both parents. Today's military parents face fewer risks of losing your custody privileges after they return. After many years of struggling to keep or regain custody of their children after deployment, military parents are now covered under protective laws that preserve their parent-child relationships.

Custody X Change software features parenting plan templates that you can customize to meet the needs of your military family. This award-winning software also includes guidelines for creating a military custody schedule that outlines visitation times. You can print out the custody calendar or upload it to your mobile devices for easy access. Custody X Change is a valuable tool in creating a military parenting plan for your children after you divorce.

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Effects of Single Parenting on Children

Negative Effects of Single Parenting
Normally when people think about the effects of single parenting, they consider only the negative aspects of the situation. While there is a great deal of potential for a child to develop negative effects of being a child in a single parent home, there is also the opportunity for them to thrive as well. One of the most common negative effects that can come from this situation is a decrease in the academic performance of the child. When the child or children have too much to deal with and are not given a good way to vent their frustration or resentment, they will often slack at school in an effort to gain attention or lash out.
Other negative effects of single parenting can include an increased risk of becoming involved in crime, alcohol or drug abuse, and other delinquent behavior that can negatively affect the child's future. The reason that children of single parents tend to gravitate towards these behaviors is because of a lack of supervision, or because they do not receive the guidance or attention that they needed in order to deal with their feelings and the loss of a parent.
Positive Effects of Single Parenting
The positive effects of single parenting are often less discussed or applauded, but they do in fact exist. When a single parent takes the time to embrace being both a mother and father for their child and does everything within their power to make sure their child or children gets the help they need, then the following positive effects can occur.
Children of single parents have an increased ability to build stronger bonds with their remaining parent. If that parent opens themselves up and allows their child to come to them with any problem they might have, then the child will develop a bond with that parent that allows them to stay on a focused and responsible path.
Those who are raised by a parent that goes out of their way to get the children the emotional help they need after the loss of a parent have the ability to get better grades in school, shine socially, and to excel in all aspects of their lives without succumbing to peer pressure in order to fit in. Counseling after a parent has left or passed on will give a child all of the tools that they need in order to cope and not rebel or fall into detrimental behaviors.
There are both negative and positive effects of single parenting, and both should be considered closely. If a child is give the nurturing attention that they need during this difficult time, then they can steer away from the negative behaviors that they may have fallen prey to, and will be able to excel the same as or better than those from a two parent home.

Becoming a single parent is not an easy task for an individual to accomplish, and it is often a step that they were unprepared for. There are many side effects of single parenting which have the opportunity to both positively or negatively affect an individual. Find out more at http://www.singleparentingguide.com.

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Top 10 Parenting Books

Parenting books can be valuable resources to inform and increase awareness of the myriad of parenting and child-raising issues. Gaining valuable perspective from child experts, researchers, doctors, pediatricians, and other family professionals can help parents feel more confident and calm while interacting with their children. Being introduced to new information and skills can feel uncomfortable at first for some, and parenting books allow a parent to absorb information through self-discovery at their own speed and pace.
As a critical consumer of parenting information, it's important to put new awareness into practice. Changing behavior takes time, patience and commitment. Becoming aware is only the first step. Understanding the significance of the new information and connecting it to what will be effective for you, will help then move onto changing behavior and incorporating new parenting skills.
There are thousands and thousands of parenting books available. The following list is compiled using strict and specific criteria and each book has been reviewed by top family and parenting trainers and educators. The criteria includes choosing books that present new parenting information that is supported by solid research and/or science, rather than just un-tested theory. These books are more process-oriented, rather than just solution-oriented. That is, these books are about breaking down the parenting process into components that a parent can then use to build personal parenting philosophies surrounding healthy communication, values teaching, raising self esteem, effective discipline and more.
Here are the Top 10 books that all parents should read (in no particular order):
"Growing Up Again" - Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson provide the information every adult caring for children should know - about ages and stages of development, ways to nurture our children and ourselves, and tools for personal and family growth.
"Your Child's Self Esteem" - Dorothy Corkville offers step-by step guidelines for raising responsible, productive, happy children. Self-image is your child's most important characteristic. How to help create strong feelings of self-worth is the central challenge for every parent.
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" - Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
"What Kids Need to Succeed: Proven, Practical Ways to Raise Good Kids" - Dr. Peter L. Benson has done extensive research indicating kids who build assets and connections with home and community have more of a chance to succeed later in life than those whose parents indulge them and try to provide the assets themselves.
"Kids Are Worth It!: Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline" - Barbara Coloroso rejects "quick-fix" solutions and focuses on helping kids develop their own self-discipline by owning up to their mistakes, thinking through solutions, and correcting their misdeeds while leaving their dignity intact.
"Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime" - Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers unique approaches to solving the daily, and often draining, power struggles between you and your child. She views these conflicts as rich opportunities to teach your child essential life skills, like how to deal with strong emotions and problem solve.
"Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" - Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our "two minds" - the rational and the emotional - and how they together shape our destiny.
"The Anger Management Sourcebook" - Glenn Schiraldi and Melissa Kerr show you how to empower yourself and redirect your anger into constructive behavior.
"The Roller-coaster Years: Comprehensive Guide for Parents of 10 to 15 Year Olds" - By Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese. This comprehensive guide to mastering the ups and downs of early adolescence draws on the findings of leading psychologists and other experts, as well as the authors' surveys of many teachers, parents and young adolescents.
"Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind" - Dr. Michael Bradley draws on current brain research and gives parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults.

All books listed are available at the Responsible Kids Network parenting library.
FREE parenting books, articles, videos and more - FREE parenting stuff.
For more information on understanding the complex nature of who a child is, how his or her brain develops and processes information, and to practice new and easy-to-learn healthy parenting tools, please visit: Responsible-Kids.net
Marty Wolner (BA, CPE, ICF, PACA) is a Certified Parenting Educator for the Institute for Professional and Educational Development, and New Paradigm Training Institute in Ft. Washington, PA and the Institute for Family Professionals in Philadelphia, PA, and the parent of two teenagers.

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Good Parenting Tips for Inspiring Children to Be Well-Behaved

The most difficult and trying thing that any person can do in life is raising children. But at the same time, it is also the most rewarding experience. Every mother and father wants to be proud of their kids and have other people compliment them on how well behaved they are or that they are always polite. The goal of nearly every parent is to be inspiring children who grow up to be happy, well -adjusted and productive adults. Check out these good parenting tips that will help you achieve that goal.
The Range of Responsibilities
One of the most important skills that you need to learn is how to delegate responsibilities. Even children as young as three years of age can have certain responsibilities in the house. Little ones can pick up their own toys and even put their cups in the dishwasher or kitchen sink.
As the child gets older, they should be given newer and more difficult chores to do. Of course, this doesn't mean that a four year old sweep the floors or vacuum the carpet. However, a four year old can help to pull weeds out of the garden, put food down for the dog or cat and even dust the furniture.
By the time your child is eight or ten years old, he or she can vacuum the rugs, load and run the dishwasher and even take out the trash. Parents need to pay attention to their children' abilities and allow the kids to take on more responsibility as they see fit. It is important to know that all children need responsibilities or you will be raising kids who grow up to have a poor work ethic.
Talk to Each Other
Talking to each other is very important in child parent relationships. Oftentimes, parents do a vast majority of the talking and they fail to take the time to listen to what their children have to say. This is detrimental to any relationship.
Good parenting tip: It is of the utmost importance that you start listening to your children from the time they begin to communicate. By listening carefully to your children, you will have a window into their world and they will be comfortable coming to you with their feelings and problems. Being a parent means listening to your kids.
Play Together
Parenting and inspiring children doesn't have to be all work and no play. Taking the time and making the effort to play with your kids is essential to a healthy child parent relationship. Playtime is not only fun but life lessons can also be taught while playing with your kids. And it strengthens parent child bonding.
There are loads of ways that you can play with your kids and still teach them things. Naturally, the type of things that you can do will depend upon the age of your children. Pre-school kids will love playing games involving their imaginations. They usually love to play house, school and even store. These are great games where you can help them to learn about household responsibilities, the letters of the alphabet as well as numbers and simple math.
If your kids age between six and ten, there are many more creative things that you can do together. A bike ride through the park will enable you to talk as well as learn new things about nature. Games like Scrabble can help to develop better reading and spelling skills. Being a parent doesn't mean that you have to cook alone. A cooking lesson with your kids can help their reading and math skills and also help improve your own parenting skills. You should always take the time to play with your children and teach them life lessons while doing day-to-day activities.

Noah Brown is a freelance writer who writes extensively on child parent relationships and offer parenting tips on handling child behavior. She encourages her readers to watch motivating parenting videos for inspiring children and teaching them to be good human beings and be successful.

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The Most Effective Parenting Styles

Effective parenting technique is a puzzling topic that sometimes burnt out experts and became a topic of brewing debates. However, developmental psychologists only began to study parenting and its influences on children in the 1920's. Most experts studying the most effective parenting technique rely on the concept of Diana Baumrind's three parenting styles, in which was found the authoritative parenting style to be the most balanced and healthiest.
Parenting can be seen as broad and limitless, when taking into consideration the differences in family values within the context of the norm, religious concepts, and many other ideals that shape the way parents deal with their children. Yet, failure in parenting cannot be solely blamed on specific instances but is seen as a typology of general practices of parents.
So what is the effective parenting technique? As broad as it might sound, authoritative parenting combines parental responsiveness and parental demandingness vis-à-vis the age of a child. Parental responsiveness describes a parent's intent to foster self-regulation, individuality, and self-assertion by being supportive of and adjusting to a child's needs and desires. Parental demandingness relates more to controlling a child's behavior that is seen as inappropriate, and a parent's willingness to enforce gentle disciplinary efforts, and confronting a child who intentionally disobeys or has committed a mistake.
You can do age-specific activities or discipline in order to set limitations but not to a point of taking full control over your child's life. Parents, themselves, need to acknowledge differences in personality styles, ideas, and life perspectives especially when a child has grown into an adolescent.
Other experts, meanwhile, advocate attachment parenting as the effective parenting technique to use on infants. Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, were the first to describe attachment parenting as a style that highly demands responsiveness from parents. This style of parenting negates the popular belief of not responding to a baby's cry immediately so as not to spoil him/her. Attachment parenting advocates believe that crying is a baby's instinctive and survival tool, which is their only means of communication to the world.
Both authoritative and attachment parenting are found to be the most effective parenting styles today, with studies showing positive results from children raised with these styles of parenting. Attachment parenting, in particular, advocates emotional closeness between parents and child to promote self-esteem and social competency later in life. Looking closely, these two styles of effective parenting techniques have similarities in terms of responding to children's needs and correcting ill behaviors in order to raise intellectually, emotionally, and socially-competitive individuals.

Milos Pesic is a single father and expert in the field of Parenting who runs a highly popular and comprehensive Parenting [http://parenting.need-to-know.net/] web site. For more articles and resources on parenting, teen parenting, step parenting, parenting classes and much more visit his site at:
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Parenting Help for Separation Anxiety

There are many parents who never realized that children could have extreme cases of separation anxiety - that is until they experience it firsthand. Most people associate separation anxiety with pets that are left alone while their owners go to work. Both people and animals can experience symptoms of this very real condition. There is help available if your child exhibits signs of separation anxiety. Follow these tips for parents, and soon you will be able to leave your child without the crying and temper tantrums.
Parenting Help 101
Separation anxiety can lead to further issues if not handled when children are at a young age. Kids who have this issue normally begin to exhibit signs of it between three and five years of age. It will get much worse as they get older if you don't seek assistance to overcome your child's separation anxiety.
One of the most important tips for parents dealing with this problem is to never leave your child with someone that they don't know. Many parents will call a friend to find a sitter that they use, and hire her to watch their child. This is never a good thing, and can trigger a full blown anxiety attack.
Let your child know that you would never leave him. Before attempting to leave him alone with the sitter, let your child know that the potential sitter visit for a few times only and that you will be back soon. Allowing your child to acclimate before leaving him alone is one of the most important tips for parents that you will need to know.
Day Care Devastation
Many people seek parenting help for when their kids start going to day care. This separation can seriously cause great anxiety for young children. Day Care can be exciting for your child, but it can be very stressful as well. You will need to prepare your child for Day Care before you even consider leaving him there for the day.
When you bring your child to Day Care, stay there with him or her. This will help your child to become comfortable with your child care provider. Kids that suffer from separation anxiety need to feel comfortable before they are left with others. This will increase their confidence levels.
You can slowly step out of the room, but remain in the building to acclimate your child to being away from you. One of the finest tips for parents is to NEVER walk away from a child exhibiting symptoms of separation anxiety.
Summer Camp Woes
Going to summer camp can be the biggest trigger for separation anxiety a child can go through in life. Use your positive parenting skills to reassure the child that he or she will be alright. Let him or her know that this is supposed to be a fun experience where he/she can make new friends.
You can prepare your child well in advance as opposed to springing summer camp on him/her. Having an open line of communication with your child is one of the best tips for parents that you will ever receive. Don't just drop your child off and leave the separation anxiety issues to the counselors. You can avoid a detrimental situation by addressing his needs and insecurities. Use your parenting skills to encourage your child's ability to have a fun camp experience.

Noah Brown is a freelance writer who writes extensively on parent child relationships and offer parenting help and tips for parents on raising children and handling child behavior. She inspires her readers towards watching motivating parenting videos which provide positive parenting tips.

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A Look at Teen Parenting Statistics

Teen parenting statistics will show that teen parenting is still a rising occurrence in today's society despite widely available sex education and numerous birth control methods. Teen parenting statistics also indicate that teenage parents and their child are both at a disadvantage in terms of health, education, and finances.
Teenage mothers face higher health risks than mothers at an older age. Such heath risks include anemia, pregnancy-related high blood pressure, underweight birth, premature delivery, and even death. Majority of these risks result from the fact that most teenage mothers lack prenatal care and not because of immature physical development. According to teenage parenting statistics, about forty percent of teenage mothers did not receive quality or adequate care during pregnancy, resulting in their children born with poor health.
In terms of education, teen parenting statistics show that while it has become socially accepted for teenage mothers to stay in school, unfortunately, an alarming 80 percent of them either choose or feel the need to drop out and only fifty percent of teenage parents who had their first child during the early teenage years will finish high school before they reach thirty. Additionally, teen parenting statistics indicate that it is more likely for someone who has had a child between twenty to twenty four years old to finish college than someone who becomes a parent before the age of nineteen.
The result of this situation is that the child or children of these teenage parents generally exhibit lower cognitive development compared to their peers. These children have the tendency to become underachievers academically and are more likely to become school drop outs, too. Teen parenting statistics also point out that these kids start to engage in sex earlier than most of their peers and have a higher tendency to repeat their parent's past and become teenage parents also.
Economically, teenage parents who are not able to achieve a high school diploma or finish a GED program generally will experience more difficulty in finding a secure and well-paying job. This is evident in teen parenting statistics showing women who had children after the age of 20 earn twice as much as women who were teenage mothers. In addition, ten percent of teenage mothers are not receiving child support from the child's father and forty percent rely on various government assistance programs such as food stamps in order to get by.
If you are a teen parent, the present and future challenges of raising your child may be too much for you to bear. If family, friends or your supposed partner is not offering help, keep in mind that you are not alone and that there are many organizations willing to help you.

Milos Pesic is a single father and expert in the field of Parenting who runs a highly popular and comprehensive Parenting [http://parenting.need-to-know.net/] web site. For more articles and resources on parenting, teen parenting, step parenting, parenting classes and much more visit his site at:
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How to Prepare Your Kids for Swimming Lessons

You can prepare your child to take swimming lessons if you think he or she is carious about it. Swimming is a skill many of us take for granted as adults but a child may be apprehensive, particularly if they have not had a lot of exposure to swimming or water in general. Before the actual swimming lessons begin, you can do a number of things to assure your child has positive experiences and gets the most out of the activity.
Start Talking About It - If your child is inexperienced or very young, she may be apprehensive about taking swimming lessons.
Explaining to her what to expect can go a long way toward calming those fears. Tell her what swimming is like and about the fun things you can do in the water once you know how to swim. Talk about the locker room and how things work there. Even talk about the scary parts. Listen to her feelings too. If she is afraid, be empathetic. Share with her what you like about swimming. Ask them questions about their fears and expectations. Then answer them in an age appropriate fashion. Make sure you let them know you understand their feelings. Never make fun of their feelings or belittle them for those feelings.
Swim Together - Take your child swimming at the pool where the lessons will take place. Don't focus on teaching them anything. Make sure the outing is fun. Play games, splash each other, and throw a ball around if you can. The point of the trip is to make your child see the pool as a safe and fun place to be. If your child is fearful about getting in the water, don't force it. Get in the water yourself and stay nearby. Demonstrate how you are unafraid and that nothing bad is happening. Show them that you are enjoying yourself. After the outing, talk about what happened, good or bad. Compliment the positive things that they may have done. Point out the good things they did and reinforce the experience with a healthy after-swim snack.
Visit a Swimming Class - Actually seeing a swimming class in action can help alleviate fears.
There is no teacher like a visual one. Seeing how the class runs and the kinds of things that he will be learning will help your child know what to expect. Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest roadblocks to successful learning. If time allows, introduce your child to the instructor. A familiar face can put a child at ease on the first day of class. Tour the facility and point how happy the other children are. Seeing others like himself can also allay fears.
Go Shopping Together - Your child will undoubtedly need some swimming gear. Shopping together for these items can help draw your child in and make him feel involved. Let him pick out the swim suit, towel, goggles and tote bag he will use.
After Class - Once your child has begun classes, encourage blossoming friendships with other swim class kids. Discuss what your child learned and what he likes about the class. Use positive reinforcement to encourage your child whenever possible.

Coach Richmond can help you find a certified swimming instructor in your neighborhood with no extra charges. Our swimming instructor conducts swimming lessons on your preferred timing and place. Find out more at http://www.woodlandsswimmingcomplex.com/
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Christian Parenting: Three Things Parents Do That Ensures Irresponsible Entitled Adult Children

Are you looking for Christian parenting help on how to raise responsible children? There is an epidemic of irresponsible adult children that need help from their parents well into adulthood. While there are justifiable reasons for this such as a bad economy, the high cost of living, the increase in college tuition, there are also plenty of unjustified reasons such as laziness, addictions, irresponsible decisions, and a lack of maturity. Prevention is always the best policy. With that in mind, here are three things you can do with your young children that ensure irresponsible entitled behavior in adults:
Make excuses for their irresponsibility. Whether it is with homework, chores, carelessness, or immaturity, if you excuse what they have done and don't allow them to face the natural consequences of their choices, you are teaching them that they don't have to live with the outcome of their choices. Instead, you want them to face those consequences so that they will learn that there is a cause and effect in life-if you don't pay attention and do what you need to do, you will face unpleasant consequences and things won't go well with you. This is God's law of reaping and sowing (Gal. 6-8).
Intervene in their battles. Of course there is a time for parents to protect their children from abuse and actual harm, but most of the time it is actually best to allow children to learn how to stand up to people who mistreat them and to make their own case against people that accuse them of things. Parents won't always be around and children need to be taught that they have the ability to make choices that can protect themselves. This keeps them from developing a passive victim mentality that can be used as an excuse to not stand up for themselves and fight for what is right (Ps. 56:11).
Give them everything they want. This one should be pretty obvious. If you give children everything they want, they don't learn the value of hard work, saving, and withholding gratification. They become child brats who become adult brats who don't appreciate what they have and yet feel entitled to it. No one can succeed in life without learning how to set and work toward goals which require sacrifice, patience, and diligence. When children don't learn how to manage money, they mismanage it as adults. When children don't learn how to deny themselves pleasure, they become addicts and immature selfish adults who expect everything they want to be given to them without any effort on their own. The Apostle Paul reminded the church that if a man doesn't work, he doesn't get to eat (2 Thess. 3:10).
If you don't want to raise irresponsible entitled adult children, let them face the consequences of their own choices, face their own battles, and work for what they get.

Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
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Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.

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Parenting Teenagers - Need Help Handling an Unruly Teen?

What you may need is a course labeled "Parenting 101-How to Deal With a Disrespectful Teenager."
You are not alone-thousands of parents are searching the Internet for a simple answer to restore a sense of normalcy in their home. But as you now realize, parenting encompasses many different things. No one single approach will cure the ills we as parents experience.
Is there a cure for adolescence?
My purpose here is to reassure you that while there is no one single "silver bullet," there is one single source for all of the answers you need. And my guess is that you desperately need those answers today!
Somehow I managed to survive those dreaded teenage growth years. As a parent of 4 kids, a grandfather of 12 and great-granddad of 2, I do have a little bit of experience in child-raising. No... my kids were far from perfect. And I faced many of the same problems you face today. My teenagers grew to adulthood without the benefit of the Internet, cell phones and texting.
But they were teens during that dreaded period of time when "hippies" seemed to rule the planet. Each period of child development has had its share of difficult times. The only difference is that the technology has changed.
Yesterday's "flower children" are today's computer addicts.
And of course I didn't have access to Google or the other search engines to help me with the answers of how to raise my children to become useful members of society. I had to "wing it." I watched helplessly as my grown children struggled with the same "growing pains" I witnessed as their children matured. But they did mature and now their children are facing the same sort of difficulties. Way back then, how I wished I could find the "silver bullet" that would put my kids on the right track.
What would we do without the Internet?
Today's parents, folks like you, have a distinct advantage in that the answers you need are just a "mouse-click" away. Of course you can tough it out... let time heal the problems you face with your teenager. But you don't have to do that. You can begin working on the child-rearing problems you face every day. And you can begin this quest TODAY.
Yes... there are child psychologists, and if you can afford that route, then by all means-pursue it. But the fact that you are reading this and are not sitting in some waiting room waiting to talk to a child-rearing specialist, tells me that you have had enough and want help with your situation NOW! The choice is yours... you can keep searching the Internet for the answers-the magic bullet-that will make everything OK between you and your teenager. And if you have plenty of time, then keep on searching.

But if you have had your belly full of the disrespect, the blatant lies, the hateful responses... then get all of the answers you need from one single source. Clicking on the link below will take you down the road to recovery, a means to restore a normal, healthy, positive relationship with your teenager.
Visit Don's Blog HERE - Help for Parents
Expert Author Don Penven is a freelance writer and professional photographer based in Raleigh and Morehead City, NC,

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Don_Penven

Effective Parenting Styles And Authoritative Parenting

As many parents are in the world, there are an equal amount of ineffective and effective parenting styles as well. Even though this is the case, these styles have been divided into three different categories. There are permissive, authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles that people use to discipline their children. The last kind is often thought to deliver the best results for parents who wish to raise pleasant, well behaved and self reliant children.
This way of managing children permits parents to have a degree of control over their children without being too controlling. These parents will have a defined set of guidelines laid out and children will be expected to follow these guidelines. Although the guidelines are defined, they do allow for a certain degree of flexibility.
These parents are able to express their love for their children and are secure in the knowledge that such affection does not blur the lines when it comes to disciplining the children. When the children get older they will be allowed more freedom and responsibility while still remaining within certain parameters of rules that have been set down. This is on the basis that at this stage the children can be trusted as they have responded positively to this type of management all their lives.
Many childrens heath care associations are of the opinion that children who have been reared with this management technique grow up respecting authority and are both socially successful and independent. An example of this will be children responding positively to the instruction that while sweets may taste nice they are not really that healthy.
Authoritarian parenting involves quite a bit of control by the parents over the children. Many feel that this style is however excessively controlling. Here there are rules and guidelines that are rigid and therefore allow for no degree of flexibility at all. Obedience is strongly emphasized and these parents often feel the need to exercise power over their children.
These parents do not often display their love to the children and this can lead the children feeling somewhat rejected. Labels are often used to describe childrens behavior. So if the children do not adhere to instructions they can be referred to as being bad. They will not refer to the behavior as being bad.
The children of this type of management system will either become dependent on their parents forever or they will rebel against their parents and leave home early. In terms of the sweets example, in these homes sweets would never be allowed for the children. This management style can bring more problems that it is worth.
Some people prefer permissive parenting to the above style. Here there is much love shown and children are accepted as they are. Parents make very few demands on their children. This management style can be flawed as children never get to learn that there are consequences to actions. These children are most likely to be spoiled and will require spoon feeding emotionally and physically throughout their lives. Of the three parenting styles it does appear that authoritative parenting is the best route to go.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Finlayson

Democratic Parenting Style - Why is it Better?

There are no hard and fast rules of how you should discipline your child. Though parenting skills are equipped with all parents automatically, the level of the effectiveness varies according to the parenting styles applied by the parents.
There are many books and classes about parenting style and which method to follow. Authoritarian, permissive, and democratic are the three main types.
Authoritarian is considered to be a very strict way of disciplining. Parents are always right. Parents have full control over children.
Permissive parenting style is the total opposite of authoritarian parenting style. The control lies with the children. No rules and regulations to follow. Children are free to do anything they want.
If authoritarian is considered to be black and permissive is white, then democratic is gray. Democratic parenting style is actually the combination of both styles joined together.
So why is gray better than white or black?
This style of parenting involves a lot of communication and mutual understanding from both partners. There are rules and regulations which your child has to follow but you do listen and let them speak their minds. When you tell them wrong, be sure to give them the reason of why it is wrong and unacceptable.
If there is going to be punishment involved, make sure they know why. This type of parenting brings everyone together. You are giving your children respect and they will reciprocate. You together with your child will be able to handle conflicts in a better way. If they are right and you are wrong - say sorry. It is alright for parents to be wrong sometimes.
Your children will learn to think by themselves while being monitored by parents. You are not limiting their creativity, mind, thoughts and passions in any way. You are simply guiding them. They will learn to become dependent within the boundaries that you have set for them.
These rules and regulations should be flexible when needed to be. For instance, as your child grows and faces new experiences and situations in life, your disciplining method changes but the core of it remains.
One other thing I learned about the democratic style is there is lots of love and affection involved. You are constantly bonding with your child. Besides the fact that your child is going to grow up to be a well-behaved adult with good attitude, your child will be close to you and will think of you positively. The best part is your child will consider you to be on his side and will be one of the first, if not first, person he thinks of when he faces challenges in life.

From my experience, I feel that the democratic parenting style is the best way to go when raising your child. You are your child's role model. How you want your child to be depends entirely on you. The effective parenting techniques are purely the that will help you find the right way of disciplining your child and the parenting style that suits you.
If you decide that democratic parenting style is your way then we are at the same path. Consider reading this and you will be happy you did.
[http://www.happychildguide.info]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Natsha_L

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Dating and Co-Parenting: Set the Boundaries

When a couple splits, it's a wonderful thing when they can continue to work together as parents. Coming together to make decisions about the children allows the child to see that even though their parents aren't a couple, they both want what's best for them. But, what happens when parents begin to date other people? What happens when a parent's new partner wants to play a major role in making decisions about the children?
Dating and co-parenting isn't always easy. No one ever wants to make the person that they're with believe that their feelings and opinions aren't valued. It's natural for the person that loves you to want to play a role in every facet of your life. Still, there are many things that parents need to think about when they are in a co-parenting situation.
Primarily, the depth of your new relationship needs to be evaluated before you even think about having this person involved in your child's life. It's pointless to introduce your child to an individual who isn't going to be around long. Children become attached to new parent figures quite easily. There is no need to put them in a predicament where they can be mislead.
Next, if you intend to make the new love of your life a permanent fixture, it would only make sense that the other parent is aware of it. This is not to say that your ex has any power in your personal life. However, there is a new person who will be a permanent presence in your child's life. This is especially true when there are younger children in the home. It's about having a mutual respect for one another.
Co-parenting only works on the basis that both parents are involved, to some level, in the choices that are made for the children; regardless of which parent they physically reside with. This is what makes co-parenting and dating difficult. The person you are dating has to operate within the boundaries that are set, when it comes to your children. Even if they have the best interest of the children at heart and believes that they have effective solutions, these solutions should still be discussed between the parents. It is not your new partners role to modify rules and regulations; but to enforce and support the decisions that are set by the parents. Often, new partners overstep those boundaries when they feel that children are being treated harshly or unfairly. Still, it isn't their place to undermine the parent's position.
The fact that one parent isn't physically present doesn't make them any less important in their children's lives. Unless a parent has simply tossed their child away and moved on as if they didn't exist...they will always want to play a major role in their children's lives; at least until their of age. So, when parents realize that they don't work as a couple but continue to raise their children together; having boundaries in their new relationships is a necessity. This is even more important when the new relationship doesn't look promising.
Dating and co-parenting can be difficult for everyone involved. Everyone has to have respect for their own roles, as well as the roles of others. The lack of respect and boundaries can lead to problems that no one really wants. Your personal relationship will suffer and the relationship that you have with your child's other parent can be severely damaged. The best thing for everyone is to know exactly what their roles are and to play them.

For every lesson in life, there's an article to be written!!!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cauwna_Bowman